Parents of Prospective Students

What can you do to help your son or daughter find the right college?  Basically, you just need to keep up the great parenting that you've already done by supporting your child as they search, encouraging them to stretch and dream, and helping them think through their decision process.

First - and this is most important - remember that this is about your son or daughter.  It is not about what others perceive to be the best school. Try not to get dragged into the hype of the great cocktail party admissions debate.  Don't be the parent who goes from comparing APGAR scores to SAT scores!  

Second, start with a direct conversation about college.  What does your student envision when they think about college?  What do you see?  You may be looking for different things, so you may respond differently to schools.  Your son or daughter may also have some assumptions - that you want them to attend your alma matter or the school that their older sibling attends, for example.  It will help to know where you are starting from before you find yourselves standing in the middle of a campus, both wondering why you're there. 

As you're talking about college, you may find that your priorities for identifying the right university are slightly different than your son or daughter's.  Things like campus safety, faculty quality, cost, and outcomes (employment) may be higher on your list of priorities to consider than an awesome recreation center, climbing wall, and cable TV.  There are schools that excel in all of these areas - climbing walls and amazing faculty can peacefully coexist.  Ultimately your son or daughter is going to care just as much about faculty and outcomes as you do, and will thank you for keeping those factors in mind.

Whatever you do, don't make the college choice for them.  Let your son or daughter take responsibility for this decision.  It's an important one, and it needs to be their own.  Of course you don't want them to make a decision in a total vacuum.  Ask questions about their thought process. "Gee Molly, this school has fewer students than your high school.  Are you comfortable with that?"  "Bill, you said you were interested in business and engineering, but this school doesn't have an engineering major.  Have your plans changed?" 

The most important thing you can do during the college search is to continue to talk to your student.  You may be in shock as they enter their senior year, remembering how quickly seventeen years have passed.  Enjoy this last year with them, and enjoy the experience.  You'll find that you're exploring more than just colleges in the process!